In our second Meltdowns lesson, we will focus on how to reshape a problematic behavior from the beginning in order to stop it from turning it into a meltdown. We will get into understanding the long term trajectory of meltdowns, how they can be started and how far they can go.
Below are the videos that illustrate this lesson. Make sure to download the supporting PDF workbook.
Something to ponder: When it comes to the day to day problems, are you rewarding the short term things that make your life easier, or are you rewarding the success that you want to see in the future?
- Reward the success that you want to see, not what makes your life easier in that second
- When being “attacked”, do the opposite of your inclination, don’t fight the situation, be surprising
- Recognize their problematic behavior as communication and honor it
- Give them what they want, but offer it in varied ways by adding a boundary to it
- Give explanation and reason for why not, give tangible examples
- All in a very matter of fact, calm manner
- Reshaping tool: be less effective and slow and heavy when they do the problematic behavior and more effective and fast and rewarding when they don’t.
- Make sure they are calm and finished
- Why did the meltdown start: write down what happened and review
- Talk about the reason in a matter of fact way
- Compliment them
- Solve their problem: give them what they want and add a teaching
- Process out loud what happened during the meltdown
- Practice teachings in fun activities
- Remind them to communicate their needs before it starts